How To Keep Your Insanity

[Dajistano]

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going
to have to let one of you go."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the Deming."

8. Dont use any puncturation marx oar sepll chek

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Sing along at the opera.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area.
Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won !
I won !" -- "3rd time this week !!!"

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name.

17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot.
Yell "Run for your lives, they're all loose!!"

[Guyver]

That last one reminds me of a guy I knew when I lived in N.Y.
He worked at the state coroners office and one day just for shits he douced himself in pure blood and ran out of the morgue at a new hire screaming, "They're all dead, DEAD!!!!!!" "ALL DEAD!!!!"
the new hire freaked out and ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction from the guy coverd in blood. Too bad it was right into a wall less than 4 feet away. Knocked himself out cold.
The new guy quit that night.

[toymank]

I did the same thing, cept it was a nursing home, and the wall ended up being a heart attack for about 4 seniors [img]eek.gif[/img] [img]wink.gif[/img]

[RipperBendix]

18: register an outrageous corporate e-mail address like [email protected]

[Peter Peeker]

I always had fun asking strangers how their scrotums were doing...

"hey, how are ya? how's yer scrotum?"


I had one fella get pretty upset, too.
seems he thought that "scrotum" was the proper name for the female genitalia... [img]confused.gif[/img]